"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy...

...What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." (Bach)

I don't know how I feel about this. Just because I believe that there exists injustice and tragedy, doesn't mean that I don't appreciate that both can be, and sometimes are, beautiful in their own right. Right?

oh, distance has no way of making love understandable

I'm continuing to struggle to remember that I can, and do, exist between fixed identities; that who I am is not an image assigned to me by others, but a fluid, ever-changing, unique being that can and does encompass multiple layers of images and selves. I don't need to choose to exist singularly on either end of a spectrum, but I can float throughout.

Similarly, I'm remembering that my relationships with others can exist in the same fashion: I don't have to cut someone out of my life in order to put some distance between myself and that person, and that distance doesn't have to signify the relationship's end. Putting metaphorical distance between yourself and a person is more and more difficult these days, what with technology working its hardest to keep people "connected" at all times. But though it's hard to do, at times, I'm finding that it's possible to create space between yourself and another. It's necessary, in a way. It's learning to adapt. It's doing what I need to do to take care of me, by losing as little as possible in the process.

I'm still not certain how I feel about this latter concept, but I think I find something comforting in it. At the moment, I feel like it's a theory I'm applying and crossing my fingers, hoping for the best. I hope in time it's not just a practice, but something I can believe in.

What does one do with feelings one does not want to have? How does one make them go away? I need a flippin Vanishing Spell or something for this shit.

I wish I was not so terribly sensitive in so many senses of the word.