"We choose love...

...We choose anger. We choose happiness. We choose boredom. You pick and choose based on the rush you give your body when it experiences a certain emotion. Some people, or the lack of some people, help you to trigger these emotions. So if you want Joy, all you have to do is trigger it yourself."

- Jason Mraz

I have discovered that recently, I have acquired the ability to trigger joy myself. There are about a thousand different things (and people...) right now that should be (and normally would be) making me stressed out, angry, upset, sad, and a ton of other not-so-pleasant. emotions. But I'm actually embracing my anger and frustration and disappointment and riding it out, for the most part, and enjoying the experience and the moment. It's kind of a miracle, given how super sensitive and overly-caring I am, and my tendency to let things get me down. I'm feeling buoyant though, and I like it. I said to someone today that I'm a pretty happy person, and right now, that's actually true. I'm pretty proud of that.

I suppose that explains why I haven't written so much on here lately. Haven't felt the need to. I like feeling like that, sometimes--compelled to obsess, to try to write out my frustrations. I like not needing to do that, too, though. Or channeling it into something different and more creative. That, I need to do more. And I still need more discipline. But in general, I'm okay with myself and my life right now. That'll probably change once school's over, but we'll see...