I wish I could just be okay with needing other people, and with asking other people for what I need.

I'm too much for myself, sometimes.

I wrote in a journal this last March. It kills me how I can only manage to verbalize exactly what I want to say on very rare occasions, and usually only to myself.

I get that emotions are ungovernable. I do. Even though I blame myself for letting myself like someone or for disliking someone, I understand that we don’t choose who we love. We have no control over that. The only thing we can control is how we act. Kind of like what Tom Wilkinson says in The Last Kiss, to Zach Braff—about how any asshole can love someone, and how what you feel matters only to you—it’s what you do to the people you say you love that counts. Well, we have the right to feel however we feel. We don’t have the right to act however we want, even if it’s based on our emotions.

I wonder what category talking falls under. We have the right to feel how we feel, no right to act on those feelings—what about talking? Can we talk about them?

I wish I had an answer for this.

5 [Living] Actors Who Inspire Me:

1. James McAvoy
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman
3. Ethan Hawke
4. Bill Pullman
5. Johnny Depp

Writer/Directors [Living]:

1. Charlie Kaufman
2. Richard Linklater
3. Wes Anderson
4. David Fincher
5. Nicole Holofcener

I feel like there should be more than one woman on these lists.