Wednesday, January 26, 2011

only for the sake of separating times and places

I'm currently reading a book partially set in Hollywood and it's reminded me of the way I find comfort in names. There's a sense of control, isn't there, in the act of labeling something, in assigning it a title that you can refer back to later? I've only been to Los Angeles once, and it was only for a few days, but I spent a lot of my time while I was there driving around, because everyone drives everywhere in LA, and the names of the streets freeways and towns in the greater Los Angeles area still feel familiar to me. La Brea Sunset Santa Monica Studio City West Hollywood Beverly Hills Wilshire Melrose Burbank downtown, the 405 101 10 110. It all just sort of drips off my tongue and across my mind, which associates images of the places themselves or pins on maps with each word and there's something reassuring about this.

It's the same with anywhere I've spent any significant amount of time. New York, London, Venice. Ocean City, Myrtle Beach, Sarasota. Here. Sometimes I wonder why this is. Familiar names evoke familiar places evoke comfort. I don't know why this seems to matter so much to me right now. I suppose it has something to do with this frustration with nostalgia I'm struggling with lately. Everything seems to touch the memory of something else and it feels like a trap and I don't like it.

Maybe none of these places really exist. Maybe they're just there in my mind to hold the spot of something else.

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