True Life: .....

JD: what is ur life

CO: the discarded manuscript of a very poorly written absurdist play.

It's funny...I hadn't realized how effectively I had blocked your face from my mind, until I saw you for the first time in years, and once again began to imagine that I saw you everywhere.

It took so long to unlearn your face, your frame. I don't know if I have the energy to do it again.

Today my therapist asked me what I've been up to, what's going on in my life. When I told her, she burst into hysterical laughter, put her head in her hands, and asked me, "What! Are you a masochist or something?!" I said, "Duh. Don't you know that by now?" She laughed at me some more. I laughed too.

Somehow, my stupid life seems a lot funnier and a lot less retarded when my therapist is laughing at it.

I don't really understand why it's called "friends with benefits"...what, exactly, are the benefits? Every way I look at it, it just seems like both parties lose. No matter what.

To fucking Do list: Monday edition

-- Call Great Magazines in the UK about my stupid Empire Magazine order(s) that may or may not have gone through.

-- Call the Accomack VA District Court and find out how to get out of this court appearance.

-- Call work and confirm my schedule and find out what time I have to go in on Friday. Gag.

-- Call my gastroenterologist and reschedule my next appointment.

-- Call my psychiatrist and reschedule my next appointment.

-- Call my GP and beg, if necessary, for an appointment.

---- Get a script for more blood work to have my hormone levels checked.

---- Get a script for more blood work to have my vitamin B12 and D levels checked.

-- Go to therapy.

-- Mail the mixes I made today from Point Beach because there will be no line at the post office.

-- Exercise.

-- Eat more protein.

-- GET MY FUCKING PASSENGER HEADLIGHT FIXED AGAIN. FUCK.

-- Get gas for the drive into Manhattan on Tuesday. Gag.

-- Figure out when I'm going to go to Philly, and with whom, if anyone.

-- Figure out when I'm going to go to LBI, and with whom, if anyone.

-- Go to sleep at a normal time. Start getting into a routine.

fuck all of this. ALL OF IT.