I am not naturally a happy person.
I'm just not. I have to work really hard at being happy. Right now, I wouldn't say I'm happy; but I'm not unhappy, and I'm not nearly as low as I was this time last year. I worked really hard to get where I am. I had a lot of help from a lot of different sources and I'm not ungrateful for it. But one of the negative side effects of all this is that, as massively hypocritical of me as it is, I'm starting to lose patience with people who refuse to do anything about the absence of happiness in their lives, and content themselves with being depressed, hiding behind it like a mask.
I don't like this. I used to do this myself, until I stopped settling with being miserable. And, in ways, I've been a foul-weather friend to a lot of people, and now I'm dreadfully afraid of tipping the scale in the opposite direction, instead of balancing.
At the same time, I'm tired. I'm tired of listening to people I love complain about the same things over and over again and then refuse to do anything at all to help themselves. I'm tired of trying to help people I can't. I tired of not getting anything out of relationships in which I feel I give a lot.
I just want everyone to be happy, including myself. I'm trying. Will you try too?
1 comment:
Ok seriously, when did you become me? I swear to you I could have written this a few years ago lol.
Anyway, the difference between you and other people is that you are actually trying. Most people don't want to try and will NEVER try. Yes, as you pointed out, sometimes you wallow in your own misery but then you do something about it. You ARE doing something. That's why I love you. That's why you're still my friend, unlike a lot of people we know. As long as you continue to be awesome (and yes you are, don't say you aren't - everyone has their moments/phases/year(s) of crap), I'm going to be there as your friend.
That's just my two cents worth...
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