I almost died in about 8 different ways today...

...just from going to Shop-Rite on Rt. 17 in Ramsey.

1) The wind.

Okay, not the shopping center's fault. But the wind was going at a pretty steady 25+ mph, and when combined with #2, the result was not good. #2 being...

2) Rogue shopping carts.

One actually darted across the main drag of the parking lot, hit a curb...then backed up and went back across the road. And stopped in the middle. I was almost impressed. Except for the fact that, ya know, it nearly slammed into my car.

3) Cars. And the parking lot itself.

Why is there an unwritten law that seemingly states that all supermarket parking lots must be unqualified disasters? They're never organized functionally, and there are always people running stop signs, making wide turns, going the wrong way down one way sections. This one is no exception.

4) Old men. And old women.

The old folk who frequent the Shop-Rite in the middle of the day should so not be navigating shopping carts, let alone three-ton automobiles. One old lady decided it was a good idea to turn her cart out into the middle of the aisle without looking to see if anyone was walking. I was walking. And the old men who wander around with baskets look so lost--they stop in the middle of everything to check their lists and read the aisle signs and cause major traffic jams.

5) All women, for that matter.

I hate the rich moms who come into Shop-Rite while their kids are in school. There are a few different types, but they all fit one type or another. There are the ones who come in wearing their $120 jeans, long sleeve shirts, and puffy vests. There are the ones in the $120 jeans with sweater sets and the Kohl's handbags that look almost designer but not really. Then there are the ones in the $120 jeans with the expensive coats and designer bags. And they all invariably have giant diamond stud earrings, straightened hair, obnoxious highlights/dye jobs, and too much make-up. They walk around with their coupons and their little daughters who are wearing Coach leather shoes and Guess for Kids clothes. They block up the aisles and they don't pay attention to where they're going with their shopping carts because they're too busy babbling on their Blackberries or bluetooths like it's their job. And really, it is. It's probably the most work they'll do all day.

Anyway. Just felt like a rant. Now have an hour to read 80 pages of The Sound and the Fury. Woot.

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Now playing: Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Heat Wave (Stereo Mix With Fade)