Rationalizing.

"The trick to loving is letting go."

- The Jane Austen Book Club

So let go, so let go,

Jump in,

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's alright,

'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown...

- "Let Go," Frou Frou

"Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past."

- Celine, Before Sunset

We hold on too tight. We're nostalgic. Photo albums, journals, home movies--we love to relive as much if not more than we love living itself. Yet it's painful. To hold onto these memories hurts. We end up wanting the past back instead of hoping for a better future and enjoying what we have now. The past can be a trap and being too preoccupied with it is dangerous.

Nothing lasts forever; everything must end. For better, for worse, that's just how it is, and you can either try to hold onto it--whether you do so consciously or otherwise--or you can just do what you can with the time that you have, and when it's over, appreciate that it happened. You can try to stay in a moment that has passed. You can try to recreate something that's gone. You can try to hold onto something that's not there. But sooner or later you will have to keep going. You will have to move on. Then you can either hold onto the memory and live in it, or you can live in the present and let it be. Love that it happened, learn from it, embrace it, then let it go.

I suppose that letting go really is all you can try to do. You can't try to hold on anything for too long or it will just slip away faster. Just enjoy what you have, love what you have, immerse yourself in the present. Let it wash over you and bask in it, and when it's gone, let it go.

I wasn't going to just rant and moan and get all preachy but I have a migraine and need to sleep. Maybe I'll fix this up another time.

Edit 11/12/08
11:28 AM
I didn't really clarify any of that. It's fluid but it's mush. I started off saying, "We hold on too tight," and that's really what I meant--not, "let go of everything and don't remember anything," but, I guess, only hold memories in the open palm of your hand. If they stay, they stay. If they fall away, don't try to close your hand but let them fall. Then there's room for more.

Laaaaaaaame. Whatever.

"Though justice be thy plea, consider this:

...That in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation; we do pray for mercy..."
- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Being raised Christian in America is an interesting paradox.

Aside from being taught that God is just, Christians are taught that He is merciful, and they should be merciful as well.

Americans live under a government with a powerful justice system. Wrong-doers are punished, as they should be - as is fair.

Mercy, though - mercy isn't fair. Mercy is absolving wrong-doing wholly, even when it isn't deserved. There is no punishment. No retribution. Just forgiveness, freely given. There is no justice in mercy.

And I don't mean to say that the teaching of mercy is limited only to Christians. Anyone with a strong moral compass may believe in being merciful. Yet even these people, I'm sure, at some time or another desire justice. Not revenge, not pay-back - only justice, fair and simple. Yet how can they desire justice and mercy at the same time? And which road should they take?

Because then, isn't justice sometimes necessary to acceptance, and consequently to receiving closure? Aren't there times when mercy and forgiveness don't result in closure? How do you get it then?

Furthermore, where is the line between forgiving mercifully and forgiving out of, indirectly, fear? Avoidance is a form of fear, and avoiding confrontation thereby a motivation born of fear. True, forgiving someone just to avoid having to confront them isn't true forgiveness and therefore, not true mercy, but for the sake of this thought, how do you determine whether or not you are forgiving someone to be merciful and truly forgive them, or if you're forgiving them merely to end or avoid a conflict?

And after all that...why does it matter?

Yes, this is seriously the kind of stuff I think about when I'm bored or alone. Or sometimes even when I'm not alone. Haha.

Duh.

I am madly in love with Alan Shore and his amazing closings.

I'm just saying. That wasn't what I wanted to write though.

My point is:
I'm retarded.
All that stuff about forgiveness.
Yeah, of course it's about letting go.
And what is letting go about?
Closure.

Seriously, how could I have forgotten that.
On Boston Legal the other night, Allan Shore argued that a mixture of revenge and justice can give a person the greatest and most satisfying closure.
Merriam-Webster says closure is, "an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality closure; also : something (as a satisfying ending) that provides such a sense."
In other words, it's understanding and acceptance.

And those two are pretty closely linked. For the most part, understanding is key to acceptance. Which is where the difficulty lies. How can you accept what you don't understand? And how do you come to understand what you cannot comprehend?
Sometimes, I think it just takes a bit of help from someone else. A different perspective.
But other times, I think you simply can't. In certain situations at certain times in certain places, you just can't. At which point, you just have to accept the fact that you can't understand, and therefore can't accept.

On the whole, it's not easy, is it?
Then again, what in life is?