A brief rant.

Sometimes, being Asian is a pain in the ass. Rather, being Korean and adopted. Only little annoyances, but still. When?

1) When non-Asians want to try to guess what I am. "Chinese?" No. "Japanese?" No. Korean's usually next. Sometimes Vietnamese or Filipino. And that's only if they know Korea, Vietnam, and the Philippines are Asian/Pacific Island nations. But no one who isn't Asian ever guesses Korean first. And seriously, I could make it so much easier by just telling them from the get-go that I'm Korean. Then they don't have to look like ignorant jackasses when they've run out of guesses after "Chinese" and "Japanese."

2) When Asians who recognize that I'm Korean automatically assume I speak/understand Korean and start speaking to me in it. It's easy enough to politely tell them that I'm adopted and haven't been in Korea since I was 4 months old, but still. And half the time, even after I tell them that I don't understand it, they keep speaking Korean to me anyway.

3) When people think I'm a communist when they find out I'm Korean. Communists don't let people adopt their babies, morons. Hell, if you're in China, they don't even really let you have babies. During the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, South Korea, China and North Korea attacked South Korea for letting Westerners adopt so many of their children, saying that babies are South Korea's number one export. I'm not North Korean and I'm not a communist. Jeez.

4) When non-Asians start talking to me about other Asian people they know. Today in Wawa, some random guy first asked me if I was Chinese, then proceeded to tell me how he knows a little Mandarin (only he mispronounced it) and then he told me how he knows a nice Korean woman who works in a casino in Atlantic City. Like I might know her because I'm also Korean. Like I care. Mmm, not so much.

5) People don't do this any more, and I don't remember it happening, but my mum told me that when I was a baby, people in stores used to ask her if I'd be able to speak English when I grew up. No, idiot, I'm going to live with an English-speaking family and magically know only how to speak Korean.

6) When people make stereotypical Asian jokes that aren't even original. If I get asked if I eat cats one more time, I'm going to flip.

7) When other Asians assume that I have some kind of cultural bond with them because we're both Asians. I mean, that's understandable enough I guess, but when you're as much of a "twinkie" as I am, it gets old.

8) When people tell me that I had an easier time getting into college because I'm Asian. Asians are not an underrepresented minority so it's really harder for them to get into colleges / get scholarships. College admissions actually have higher standards for Asian students. So stop telling me that I'm lucky I'm Asian because I'll get more money.

9) When people tell me that I'm smart because I'm Asian and that all Asians are smart slash supposed to be smart etc. etc. Annoying.

10) When I meet creeps with Asian fetishes who are crazy. Like, stalker-crazy. LEAVE ME THE FRICK ALONE.