I hate it when I realize that I care what someone thinks about me.

Tonight and last night I talked to a whole slew of people, mostly school people. Some were tight friends and some I only know past the acquaintance stage but it was cool and everything. With all of them, it is either established that we are friends so it is easy to be myself with them, or I don't care juuuuust enough to be myself. It's not that I don't care about the person at all. It's just that when I'm not overly concerned with what someone thinks of me - which is technically most of the time, but not enough of the time for me to feel confident in saying that it is usually - I don't think too much about what I'm saying or how I'm acting, and am just myself without trying to be anything.

But when I realize that I want someone to respect/like/trust me, I get flustered. I get shy and I retreat when I shouldn't. I have to try to act like myself, and that never begets proper results or favorable impressions.

Oh, to be impervious from myself!