You know what amuses me greatly?

Think of everyone you know.
Now mentally remove alcohol.
Mentally remove all alcohol-related stories, jokes, conversations, etc.
The number of truly interesting people you know has greatly diminished now, hasn't it?
And if not, then their degree of interesting-ness, at least, has decreased significantly.
God, what would people do without alcohol? What would they talk about?
Like with Tootsie Roll pops, "the world may never know."